Working as Andrew Lloyd Webber's Lyricist, again
and doing dance routines to Madonna
Dear Friends. Firstly, sorry I haven’t written to you in …
Yonks! What a wonderful unit of measurement. How long is a ‘yonk’? In this case, it’s about 6 weeks, which is far too long, and I apologise.
I’ll be honest, life has been a bit unstable (nothing too serious, just a lot of ‘stuff’ all at once), and I am definitely someone who needs steadiness and space to write. As you can imagine, these newsletters take time, and I have a pocket of time right now, so here I am. I’ve been reading the 1993 diaries and I have found some GEMS to share with you.
Before I get into it, I have something cool to show you, and a little offer for you to consider.
Places we used to hang in the mid 90s
In June, I made this autobiographical zine (essentially, a little booklet) as part of my monthly zine club, which I run on Patreon. It’s a very personal account of a specific period of my life in the mid 90s, when I was 13/14 years old, and it’s told through my memories of the places where me and my friends spent most of our time back then.
It’s kind of like a tour of where I grew up, focusing on five places that meant the most to me at that time: my front wall, my friend Laura’s front wall, the local Spar, the farmer’s field, and my friend Graeme’s garage.
As I introduce each place, I share why it was important, and how it fits into the picture of my life as a teenager in the 90s. I also talk about how it felt revisiting my old streets a couple of years ago, and standing outside my old house for the first time in many years.
I have a sense that some of you would enjoy reading the whole thing, so I’m really happy to be making the zine available to you guys as well now.
Here’s the deal:
I will send a copy of this zine to anyone who chooses to become a paying subscriber here, on Substack, in July.
Once you’ve signed up, I’ll shoot you a quick email to get your address (anywhere in the world is fine) and then I’ll get a copy in the post for you asap. (If you’re already a paying subscriber — you’re all set! Nothing to do, I’ll email to ask for your address.)
As a reminder, this newsletter is free to read. The only reason you’d choose to pay is because you are in a position to, and you like what I do here. And this zine offering is just a little way for me to say thanks to anyone who does that.
Click below to get the info and look at the membership options. Thank you.
Okay — let’s get to the diary shares!
Poor, Poor Joseph
If you’ve been reading for a while, you might remember that when I was 12, I was forced to make up my own lyrics for the Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat musical, because I only had the instrumental version of the soundtrack. If you missed that, or just want a recap, you can find some background plus my personal version of the song Close Every Door here.
This time I’d like to share my vision for the song Poor, Poor Joseph.
The opening two lines are very … to the point.
All in all, a really motivational song that’s about focusing on what you do have rather than what you don’t have, even though you don’t actually have either of the things you think you have, because your brothers have stolen your jazzy coat and a 12-year old girl made up a wife for you, but there we are.
Swing hips and turn head til [Madonna] starts singing
I have to say, what I’m about to share was a wonderful find, and one of those things I’d forgotten I used to do until I saw it written down.
In the summer of 1993, at the very young age of 12, I became quite dedicated to eating healthily and exercising. That’s not especially wonderful, not really, and that desire to exercise and to eat less, along with the routine of weighing and measuring myself regularly, was in no way healthy or good for me and my wellbeing. But it was really common for young girls in the 90s, and I’m sure it still is now. It’s a whole thing that I could say more about, and I probably will in a future newsletter, because I have pages and pages of diary entries about this very subject.
But for now, let’s separate it out, just for a bit, and enjoy my instructions for a light aerobic session, devised especially for Madonna’s True Blue album.
This was written in August 1993, when I was 12.
Here’s the part where I start to plan it out. It’s sweet that I state whether I’ll be doing the exercises downstairs or upstairs.
Then, on the next page, for some reason I’ve re-organised the list of songs ‘In order of motion’ — and here in 2024 I am not really sure what that means, or how I achieved this re-arrangement of the album order. This was definitely pre-CD days, so did I stop and fast forward and rewind the cassette between routines? Or did I have to create my own separate tape (illegal!) with the songs to suit my workout?
Who knows, but whatever it means, ‘In order of motion’ is wonderful and mysterious.
We then begin the ‘Programme’
I think the word (DOWN) means this was the routine to do when I was downstairs, rather than upstairs, perhaps because there’s quite a lot of marching and foot-tapping going on in the whole routine. I also really like how I very honestly say, ‘Kicks, with arms trying to touch feet.’ Trying indeed.
I think the next track, Open Your Heart, takes things up a notch in the choreography — there’s jumping up and down on the spot! And also ‘walking with shoulders going’ (going where?)
Love that I’ve scheduled a little ‘free style’ for the chorus, and that it’s followed by a rest — does that mean I’d really be going for it during that free-stylin’?
I have to say, the next song, Where’s the party? isn’t one I remember at all, but again I am pleased to see I’m giving time to nurture my free-style dancing.
The level of complexity increases for the next track, La Isla Bonita. And this is the only one that includes a drawing — to demonstrate how to bend a leg:
After all that floor work, we’re back in an upright position now to have a good swing and a clap to True Blue:
I wonder what ‘walk forward with shoulders and arms and back’ looked like?
Okay, we’re on the floor again for the final push. It’s actually more of a gentle comedown, some leg and arm lifts, holding the foot for 20 secs etc
Ah. Relax. Well done, little Teresa.
I can’t help but think there was also a lot of head turning, like an owl.
Okay that’s it for today! I think we all need a lie down after all that 90s leisure-centre-inspired aerobics.
Hope you enjoyed this issue; please do like / share / comment and all of that, it really helps and it’s really appreciated.
Remember, if you’d like a copy of ‘Places We Used To Hang in the Mid 90s’, hit the button below to upgrade your subscription before the end of July and there’ll be one in the post for you as soon as humanly possible :-)
Until next time,
Teresa x
Other places to find me and my work at:
Patreon monthly zine club: I create a brand-new zine every month, and Patreons get first access (I actually send it to your house! how cool!) You also get an exclusive extra gift, like an art print, postcard, or an extra mini zine. It’s £5/£7.50 per month, depending on where you live. Have a look here for more info — where you can also have a peek at the zine I’m making for July’s mail out.
This is me chatting about my diaries and the 90s on Alright In The 90s podcast | I have an Etsy store | And I post nuggets of diary stuff on Instagram
I never wrote “dear diary,” but I also used to make comments about changing pens 😂 hell, I still do.